{perfect love}

"Everyone longs to give themselves to someone-- to have a deep soul relationship with another -- to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone-- with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me. I love you, my child. And until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. 

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-- exclusive of anyone or anything else, exlusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-- a plan you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things-- keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things others have gotten or I have given them. Don't look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

Then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would even dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready at the same time-- until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you-- you won't be able to experience the love exemplified in your relationship with Me, and is thus, perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love I offer you with, Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe it, and be satified."

-Author Unknown

newest blog obsession

Oh.my.gosh. I've been blog-stalking tonight instead of studying (shocker..) and I have found the cutest photography you've EVER seen. I came across this blog through a friend. 


I have spent probably the last hour just looking at her pictures...and they are precious.I am so in love with the colors, the backgrounds, and the sweet baby faces, of course! Go take a look.... PeekABooPhotography. 


Too bad she lives in Utah. And too bad I'm not married and have no kids....guess I can dream though, right?


Seriously. Could this picture be ANY cuter? I don't think so.

{you are for me}

So thankful for a Father who is for me...So thankful for a God that loves me for who I am, not who everyone else wants me to be. So thankful for His patience, His mercy, His grace. This song is incredible, my favorite at the moment...so pure and so true. This is my prayer to my Father.

what happens when love isn't enough?

I wrote this a few weeks ago. It was 2 am and I wasn’t sleeping as usual. A lot has been on my mind…especially that night, so I just felt like I needed to get all of these words out of my head and onto paper.  I’ve been deliberating whether or not to post this, because it’s pretty personal. It has a lot of my thoughts and feelings in it. Maybe it’s too much for you, maybe you’ll enjoy it. Either way, I have a need to put it out there and off of my chest. Maybe someone can answer some questions for me :)

I’ve always been the girl that believes in the happy ending. I’m always the one out of my group of friends that never gives up on love. My friends roll their eyes at me when I give them optimistic advice about guys. I try to be a glass-half-full-kinda girl. I believe with all of my heart that there is one person out there for me, created by God only for me, to love me and complement me as no one else ever could. I’m the Charlotte out of the group (for you Sex and the City fans).

Where did this way of thinking begin? I grew up watching Disney movies. Especially the ones with the princesses. I dreamed of being like Cinderella or Belle. They were beautiful and graceful and everything a little girl could ever want to be. And, of course, you know what happens in the end. She dreams that a handsome and charming prince will come in and save the day, and guess what…it happens, and we all get a picture of the “fairytale ending” in our heads.

And then we grow up…then come the movies like The Notebook or 27 Dresses…or pretty much any romantic comedy that has come out in the past decade. What do they tell us? Love always finds it’s way. Love always wins. No matter the situation, love is all you need. What if love isn’t enough to make it work? Are these movies putting false hope into our heads or do these things really happen in real life? I’m probably too young to answer these questions. Too inexperienced. Too cynical at the moment. But I really do wonder.

Lately, it seems like everyone is breaking up. We think that the hardest thing in a relationship is finding the right person. After that, we fall in love and live happily ever after, right? I see my friends struggling through relationships/breakups…I see the affects of a broken heart and hear their sadness when they can’t figure out what went wrong. So many questions go through my head. Is it easier when you’re dating The One? Is there even such a thing as The One? Is it easier if you compromise everything that makes you you? Are you supposed to just rely on the fact that you love each other to make everything better? What does it take to keep a relationship functioning when both of you just want to give up? What happens when you really do love someone, but it feels like everything else is crumbling around you?

Over the past few weeks, these questions have been coming up much more frequently in our everyday convos. I’ve been having a lot of relationship talks with some of my close friends about theirs and my own. One of my dearest friends made a good point: she said that she really loves her boyfriend, but she felt that he only loved the person he wanted her to be, the person that she compromised herself to become in order to please him. She’s an incredible girl, to say the least. He was changing her into someone she wasn’t…someone that wasn’t the girl I had been best friends with for so long. When do we cross the line that changes us from ourselves into what our significant other wants us to be?

Love is the most important thing in a relationship. Consuming, powerful, can’t-live-without it love. I’ll be the first to agree with that statement. And I’ll also agree that I know that kind of love is out there. But I think that it takes so much more to make it last…trust, honesty, respect, compassion, communication, sacrifice, just to name a few. This is where I am in this moment. Struggling to figure out the answers to all of these questions…not only for myself, but for all of my friends that are asking me the same things. Oh, how I wish I had the answers. Wouldn’t things be so much easier?

This quote sums up my feelings at the moment:

“I don’t know that love ever changes. People change. Circumstances change.” –Nicholas Sparks

Nothing has really changed with my way of thinking about love. I’m still the eternal hopeless romantic. I still believe in true love. I still believe in the fairytale ending. I still believe that love prevails…but I’m beginning to question if my way of thinking is naïve. Am I setting myself up for heartache? Or am I building myself up to exactly what I deserve? There’s a fine line with this subject, and I’m not quite sure where I land just yet. I have faith that love will prevail. Situations come and go, and my faith in love, life, and myself is shaken continuously, but in the end, I believe love is going to triumph. In the end, everything will be okay; so if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I’m not used to being vulnerable, especially with this topic…but I’m putting all of my thoughts out there. Essentially, I’m sharing my heart with whoever reads this—that’s a terrifying thought. But this is me, these are my struggles…love me or hate me. 

words of wisdom for wednesday

Quotable Cards are some of my favorite cards simply because of their amazing quotes... Not a day goes by that I don't come across one of these cards without being inspired. Whether I'm having a bad day, discouraged about school, or simply discouraged with life, these words lift me up and remind me there's a bigger picture. They remind me that everything happens for a reason. They remind me to stop for a moment and just breathe. Go read them, friends. I hope your Wednesday is going just fabulously :)

all about me...

I AM ... scared to death of graduating and going out into the real world

I WANT... to go back to Europe and stay for longer than 2 weeks…maybe 2 years?

I HAVE ... a passion for taking care of people-—the main reason I want to be a nurse

I KEEP …  hoping that things will fall into place……………………..

I WISH I COULD ... be a better friend/sister/daughter.

I HATE … tornadoes. And being away from my family.

I FEAR … losing the happiness and joy that I have at this point in my life

I HEAR … the FRIENDS theme song (the TV show that is always playing in my room)

I MISS … living in the KD house

I’D RATHER … talk all night with my friends than do anything else i

n the world

I DON'T THINK ... I’ll ever be as organized/creative as I want to be.

I REGRET ... not being more spontaneous and living every day to its fullest

I LOVE ... Paris at night…or any time of the day, for that matter.

I AM NOT ... afraid to speak my mind (I’ve been told I’m a pushover, so I’m working on that)

I’M LEARNING … to let go and let God take care of my plans

I DANCE ... when I’m happy (and like a white girl…)

I SING ... alto… and rarely in public, though it’s probably my favorite thing to do

I NEVER ...  take enough pictures.

I RARELY ... get really mad. if I’m really upset about something, something is seriously wrong.

I TEAR UP WHEN I WATCH ... my grandparents holding each other’s hand or stealing kisses when they don’t think anyone else is watching—. I pray that I have a love as strong as theirs!

I AM NOT ALWAYS ... very discreet with my feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I HATE THAT ... college only lasts 4 years.

I'M CONFUSED ABOUT ... where God wants me to go with my life.

I NEED ...  to feel needed and to be loved.

I SHOULD ... sleep more, but I’ve decided that I can sleep when I’m dead.

{happy valentine’s day}

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

look for the little joys in life

There are so many days that go by without me even stopping to think about all the little things that I'm thankful for...the unimportant things that I take for granted every day. These are the things that bring me the most happiness...these are the things that put a smile on my face. I'm making a point to notice the simple little joys in my every day that make my life fun, easier, more exciting...and here are a few of the current ones :)

• Diet Coke (always puts a smile on my face...always.)
• Peanut Butter
• Pajama days with my best friends
• Any song played acoustic...and I'm serious when I say ANY
• Loreal Voluminous mascara (LOVE this)

• Sunsets. God's incredible Glory is never more apparent to me than when I watch a sunset. This is from Scarlett Lillian's blog...her link is down there. By far one of my favorite blogs!

• Cupcakes
• Clean Sheets
• Roadtrips that have no destination
• Sweet tea...I'm a true Southern girl at heart

• Reading random blogs [Check these out]

b.mo foto

Scarlett Lillian Photography

Destined for Royalty (I found this one through my cousin...her design is SO CUTE)

Benefield Photography (I'm in love with his photos)

• When Gilmore Girls or Friends is on TV when I have nothing to do
• Nights when I don't have to set my alarm
• Lunch dates to catch up with girlfriends
• Painting to clear my head
• When my dad tells me he's proud of me

• The new Google commercial...check out how sweet it is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnsSUqgkDwU&feature=pyv&ad=3910814453&kw=google%20commercial

• Black and white pictures. This is from Benefield Photography...their link is up there, go look at their pictures and I promise you'll fall in love, too.

• The sound of rain on my windows
• The smell of a baby/a baby falling asleep in my arms
• Mexican food...any day, any time
• Criminal Minds marathons (Matthew Gray Gubler for hours at a time? Yes, please.)

• Traveling abroad. I dream about going back to Europe every single day. I found this picture on this website. It's titled "It was raining hope.." pretty much the best title ever.

• Getting flowers
• Heart-to-hearts
• BareMinerals makeup
• My Kindle
• Petit fours...especially these precious Valentine's Day ones. Yuuuummmy!

• Online shopping. I'm dying to get this necklace and this chair...both from Anthropologie. To die for. Shopping on that website always puts a smile on my face.

• Red carpets before awards shows. My favorite dress so far has been the hot black number that Lea Michele wore to the Grammy's. I crazy about that dress and I love love love her.

• Anything and everything Ole Miss. My next purchase is this awesome Colonel Reb yard sign. LOOOOVE!

• Hearing my friends laugh
• Care packages from my mom
• Big bear hugs
• A good cry when I need it
• Friends that build me up and make me a better person
• When people actually read my blog :)

Learn to be happy. Learn to take pleasure in the little things that go unnoticed. Life is short so live it with joy and passion like it ought to be lived. What are the little things that make you happy??

just a thought...

a not-so-quick update on life

I'm still here, I promise. I've had a few people ask where I've been lately, but I promise I didn't forget. I feel like I've neglected my blog lately. Busy busy busy is how I'd describe the last few days. I've had so many thoughts on stuff to blog, but I'm never around a computer...so I just had to start a list so I could keep you all updated on life :) but first, before I try to tackle that whole list of fun things, I just have to fill you in on what's been going on lately...

Thursday...

For my last semester of nursing school, we have this program called a preceptorship that we have to complete prior to graduation. It's 135 clinical hours with a designated preceptor in an area that they assign us. This time, our professors gave us the opportunity to list our top three choices for them to keep in mind when assigning us...and of course, my #1 was Labor and Delivery. After many weeks of waiting, keeping my fingers crossed, and praying HARD, we finally got our assignments...and I got L&D! I'm pretty sure I couldn't have been happier.

I started my first 12-hour shift Thursday night, 7p to 7a...which sounds miserable, but it honestly wasn't that bad. My body was somewhat confused at being wide awake at 4 am, but I never got too sleepy to function, thank the Lord. I was so worried that my preceptor wouldn't be cool, and since I have to spend 12 12-hour shifts with her over the next 2 months, that would probably the worst. But to my excitement, my preceptor is wonderful...so supportive and sweet. I saw/assisted with two deliveries, successfully inserted two IVs, and did some other nursing things that I'm sure you don't really want to hear about :) needless to say, I was in pure heaven. Nursing school is hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be...but when I work with kids, help deliver babies, or see the joy on a new mom's face, I know all of my hard work is totally worth it. I am so lucky to love what I do.

Friday...

I slept most of the day, trying to get caught up from the thrilling night before. One of my friends and I tried to go see Dear John, but of course, it was already sold out. I'm going to see it tomorrow though, so I'll let you know my thoughts on it. Hope it's as good as the book!!

Some of my close friends and I went to the Oxford Film Festival Friday night. Thanks to the wonderful Faye Walter, we had a tiny part in one of the movies, along with some other awesome KDs. The Night of the Loup Garou is a hilarious, yet frightening movie about a werewolf that terrorizes the small town of Taylor, MS. Go check it out here because trust me, you just have to know what happens in the movie...and of course, to me and my friends...it's definitely worth the view!

Saturday...

Saturday was the big day for Faye's birthday party, so Morgan and I ran errands for a little while, picked up her cake and present, and then had lunch with the crew. Funny story about the cake--there's a pic down there :)--we go to Kroger to pick it up and not only are they late in finishing it but the entire cake is wrong...here's the main gist of the conversation we had with the bakery workers:

me to the bakery lady: "I need to pick up a cake for Rachel Dillard"

bakery lady to me: "Okay, what is it supposed to say??"

"Happy Birthday Faye."

"Ohh....Faye? hmmm...Okay, well...hold on one moment please"

And of course, I'm thinking the worst at this point, assuming the cake has flowers and polka dots all over it...so we wait some more...then they bring the cake out and guess what it says?

"This says Happy 13 Jay, not Happy Birthday Faye...ma'am, this isn't right"

"Oh, well then give it back...I'll fix it."

So we stand there for 10 more minutes and finally she brings it out...check out the pic to see the final product, which clearly previously had a 13 and a J on it. Funny story :)

The celebration of our sweet friend's 22nd birthday consisted of lots of friends, dancing, going out to Funky's, and ended with an icing fight...perfect night with my fabulous friends. Happy Birthday Faye :)

Sunday...

Morgan, Faye, and I took a quick trip to Memphis to go to Target...we're such girls to travel all the way up there just for a Target. But I love it...so much. Target is definitely my favorite. And I love random roadtrips with the Walter girls, so it was a great start to SundayFunday!

And of course, Sunday was the SuperBowl...as you all know. Congrats to the Saints, but unfortunately I was going for the Colts...love my Peyton Manning. I was pretty neutral in this year's SB, for once...I wasn't too terribly upset either way. I really wanted the Colts to win, but I'm happy for the Saints. I suppose they're our hometown team, so I better kinda cheer for them too! We had a great time, even though the Colts sucked it up in the end :) here are a few pics.

Wow, this post was long. Sorry if you got bored throughout any of that...just want to keep everyone updated on what's going on! I hope you are all having a marvelous Tuesday...we're getting so close to Spring Break! Woo hoo!

I think I've talked enough for one night. To leave you, go check out this song on youtube...it's my current obsession and goes pretty great with my mood today :)

wordless wednesday

Jane Kimmel...absolutely precious. no words needed.

oh, happy day!

Today has been a great day. I slept great last night, for once, and actually woke up on time and didn’t have the urge to hit my snooze button. I got ready early, had time to eat breakfast, got to school before class even started…I was on a roll! And on top of that, my test (worth 40% of my grade for this class…yikes) was moved to next week due to wonderful Distance Learning network problems, AND class was cancelled for the rest of the day. God definitely heard my pleas for mercy this morning! I need to clarify, though, I’m acting like I never have good days. Today was just a shock because when I went to bed last night, I just assumed that my mood (which wasn’t a good one) would carry over to this morning…

Last night I was hit with some big news from a friend. Nothing really important to anyone else, but it was news that I wasn’t expecting in the least bit, so it really caught me off guard. It stirred up a lot of emotions that I didn’t even realize I had for that subject, and I think the fact that I wasn’t prepared for it made it even worse. This news is a situation that I’ve struggled and dealt with in the past and thought I had gotten over it, but hearing that last night brought me back to an uncomfortable, yet familiar, place. It’s crazy how something can affect my mood in such an intense way, but needless to say, I’m weak—so I let it get to me, and I broke down. Not wanting to think about it, I went to bed with a heavy heart and a lot on my mind.

Somehow, God calmed me enough to get some rest. I woke up this morning refreshed and renewed…more in mind than in body, though. Once I got over the waking-up part, my thoughts immediately turned to what happened last night…and I automatically started to worry/analyze it again. But in the midst of my panic, it hit me like a ton of bricks…I realized that I shouldn’t be upset over it, because more than anything, it was an answer to so many prayers. Maybe those prayers weren’t answered in the way I had wanted in the past, but for where I am at this point in my life, God answered them in a crazy, powerful, surprising way. It blows my mind that I just assumed I was never going to get an answer to this situation—that it was just one of those situations where God answered simply with me moving on, just accepting it for what it was.

But that definitely wasn’t the case. God was waiting until I was truly ready in my mind and in my heart to answer my cries that I worried about so often back then. My tears quickly turned into a weird calmness. My worries just melted away. I think I was more in awe of God than anything…in awe of how His plan is rarely ever what I plan, in awe of His incredible timing, in awe of His Hand working so clearly in my life. I’m a firm believer that God opens and closes doors for a reason, and even though a door closed for me last night, I have hope that another door was opened at the same time. It all goes back to the fact that I try to make my own future and create my own happiness. I’m not a patient person, but with this subject, I’ve had to learn to be patient because I didn’t really have another choice. I am so glad that He sees the big picture, and I’m so glad He doesn’t give me what I want whenever I want it. More often than not, what I want and what I need are polar opposites. I can’t imagine how different my life would be if He wasn’t in control of it…I would be so much more lost than I already am.

So, that brings us to right now. I’m thankful for today. I’m thankful for the place where I am in my life, even though most days I have no idea where I’m going. I’m thankful for brokenness. I’m thankful for God giving me closure after all this time. I’m thankful for Him giving me hope when I am close to just giving up. I’m thankful for daily struggles like these because they make me a stronger person. I’m thankful that He helps me find the good in every situation, especially when I am convinced that nothing good could ever come from it (it’s crazy how wrong I am). I’m thankful for friends that listen to me when I’m down, when I don’t really even have the words to say how I’m feeling. I’m blessed beyond measure.

I hope you all had a good day, also. Be patient with whatever you’re struggling with right now. I’m no one to give advice, but I do know that God will be with you and will watch over you through every step. Remember to show love to someone today…remember that God gives us positives in every situation. Look for the good in today and tomorrow, because I guarantee you will find something unexpected and wonderful. :)

music monday

Happy February everyone! I really can't believe January is already over...can't say that I'm sad though. One month closer to Spring Break, my 22nd birthday, and most importantly--graduation! I hope January was good to all of you. So...to start off a new week AND a new month, it's Music Monday! Music is one of my obsessions, one of those things that I cannot live without. It's one of the only things that can instantly change my mood, so I rely heavily on it on a daily basis. Luckily, I have some awesome friends who are as obsessed with new music as I am, so they bless me with new CDs all the time. This is my current FAVORITE playlist, and I wanted to share it with you! There will definitely be artists you know and songs you've heard, but hopefully there will be some that you've never heard of...and I encourage you to go download them! This playlist is pretty random, but I hope you love it as much as I do. Now go listen!!

1) Edge of Desire- John Mayer my absolute favorite song on his new CD Battle Studies...it's been on repeat in my car for a good week now. I'm sure all of my friends are tired of hearing it.

2) WTF?- Ok Go Faye definitely got me stuck on this song...it's constantly stuck in my head because it's SO addicting. Go watch the video on YouTube though, that's the best part!

3) All We Are- OneRepublic I generally think OneRepublic is overplayed and annoying...but I really LOVE this song, and also "Say (All I Need)" by them, too...Say is one of my favorite songs ever

4) Closer- Kings of Leon I'm a huge KOL fan...long before they became popular. This song is really sexy.

5) Assassin- John Mayer Honestly, go download that whole CD. there are a few songs I'm not crazy about, but the majority is pretty great...and I mean, it's John. You can't go wrong with him.

6) Right Hand on My Heart- The Whigs another song that Faye got me stuck on. They were just in Oxford at the Lyric, but of course I missed it. Love them though, they're one of my new faves.

7) Empty- Ray Lamontagne Amaaaazing. There are no words for Ray. Get all of his songs.

8) Fall for Anything- The Script cute Irish boys...great songs...what more could you want?

9) Reason Why- Rachael Yamagata Great lyrics

10) Marry Me- Train Sweetest song ever! If a guy ever sang this to me, I would just melt.

11) Duet- Rachael Yamagata and Ray Lamontagne Such a sweet, slow, beautiful song...with two incredible voices.

12) Pretty Girl- Ernie Halter Thank you Meg for introducing me to Ole Ernie. I don't have his whole CD yet, but I want the whole thing. His voice is fabulous.

13) Fall Into Me- Sugarland Sugarland doesn't really need a description...this song is raw and beautiful.

14) Everything’ll Be Alright- Joshua Radin Love his raspy voice...very chill and relaxed.

15) Save Me- Hanson If you know me well, you know my HUGE obsession with all things Hanson. They're incredible in concert. Listen to their new music, they're not just about MmmBop anymore, people!

16) For You for Me- Jon McLaughlin This one and the last few songs are new songs that I've recently gotten from friends/iTunes...all great songs.

17) Crazy Ever After- The Rescues Great band..kinda remind me of LadyA. They make some good music.

18) All Love- Ingrid Michaelson All of her lyrics are so heartfelt, and her music is ALWAYS on Grey's, so I like her even more!

19) Turn the Page- Matt Hires LOVE his voice...and he is pretty cute too :)

20) Far from Home- The Gabe Dixon Band This band hasn't really caught on yet, but they definitely deserve to be noticed. Great CD! Again, thank you Meg for the introduction :)