the big 2-2.

happy birthday to me :)

I love birthdays. Like seriously l-o-v-e them.

Especially today! My 22nd birthday.

I woke up to a decorated house from my sweet roomies...(pics later!)

And a big brunch at school from my nursing girls :)

Countless texts, tweets, and facebook posts.

My friends sure know how to make me feel loved.

I am so blessed.

Days like this remind me of the things that really matter...friends, family, and love. 

My heart is h-a-p-p-y!

i'm in over my head

I have such a strong desire in my heart right now…

A desire that is consuming most of my thoughts lately.

A desire that I’m not sure how to fulfill.

More than anything, I want to be content.

Lately, I’ve noticed I’ve begun to measure my life by certain events. It’s almost as if in order to be satisfied, I have to check one thing off on my life's “list” before I can move onto the other. Why am I not content with just tomorrow? Simply waking up the next day?

I am approaching a big crossroads in my life…

I’ve talked about it numerous times on here already. I’m sure you know what I’m about to say…

Graduation.

It’s less than two months away…and I don’t have a job offer…still no idea of where God wants me to move.

I am praying continually. I’m already thanking God for the job He created for me, because I know it’s out there. I really believe that with all of my heart. 

But the imperfect, impatient part of me is trying to tell me the opposite.

I think He’s just waiting to see how much of my trust I’ll actually place in Him before He opens that door.

I’m struggling though, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

I long for somewhere that I can call my home…

I long for a godly man that I can call my husband…

I long for a job that I can look forward to going to every day…

These longings are consuming my thoughts and my plans. I feel like if these pieces of the puzzle are in place, everything will be just right.

I hate that I can’t be content in the moment. Why can’t I be happy with just being a single, college girl? I think the reason I fight with this topic the most is because things aren’t going as I had originally planned. I’m about to turn 22. Tomorrow...in like an hour, really. I always just assumed I’d have a job lined up and a serious boyfriend at this stage. But I don’t. And that terrifies me.

I tell myself on a daily basis that I don’t want to grow up…that I’m not ready for graduation. But deep down, I know that I’m just waiting for that next big thing. The next step in my plan to “happiness”.

When will that end? When will I finally be content? It’s a vicious cycle.

Am I the only person who just waits for the next big thing to happen?

As a Christian, the only time I am ever fully satisfied in my heart is when I am fully His. Fully dependent on His mercy and grace. Fully trusting in Him to lead me to where He wants me to be, not where I want to be. 

But I’m clearly not perfect, so I forget that every. single. day. I forget that I am His when the world breaks me down. I forget that I am His when something doesn’t go my way. I am so quick to resort to my own plans when that happens…and that’s when I become so unsatisfied, yet again.

Daily struggle. 

Right now, I feel like my life is on a time frame...and that I am supposed to take it into my own hands and get it all under control.

I'm not doing so well with this whole surrendering thing. 

Really, I’m just trying to sort out my thoughts on this issue. I hope you weren’t expecting some insightful advice, because I don’t have any today, unfortunately. I’m learning slowly but surely that the happiness isn’t in the destination, it’s in the journey. So cliché, but so true.

Contentment is my new best friend. Ready or not, I am determined to be still and content in this moment. All of the puzzle pieces will fall into place when God wants them to. And it’s going to be more perfect than I could ever imagine.

So until then…breathe, Rachel, breathe. Patience is a virtue. 

"I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the Truth
I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper and deeper into You


I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
So lost within Your love, 
the Love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
Strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head"

thankful thursday

People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.
-- Richard Carlson

I'm really starting to like this post... I think it's my favorite of the recurring ones. I love Music Monday and Tuesday Shoesday, of course, because shoes and music are two of my favorite things. Music and shoes are wonderful (duh).

But not as wonderful as the many things I'm thankful for. It really amazes me how many things I can list when I sit down to write this post. I am one lucky girl. God answers prayers on the big things in my life, and gives me the pleasure of experiencing all the little things, too. What more could I ask for?

1) The greatest thing I'm thankful for at the moment is God's healing hand on my sweet Mama. As most of you know, she had surgery early Tuesday morning...nothing too terribly serious, but surgery nonetheless. After many prayers and a couple of hours, she was out of surgery and doing great. She's home and resting now, with some pain, of course, but doing much better! So thankful for my wonderful Mama, too.

'I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion

I believe You’re more than enough for me

Jesus You’re all I need"

-"Healer" by Hillsong United

2) I'm thankful for the Spring. This year is especially welcomed after the long winter we had in the South... I love all of the flowers blooming around us. I love the smell of fresh-cut grass. I love lazy Saturdays with the windows open and the Spring air blowing in. I love the sunshine that Spring brings. I love being able to wear shorts and a t-shirt...nothing better.

{weheartit}

3) I am also thankful for Spring because it brings the Easter season, too. Easter is one of my favorite holidays, second only to Christmas. I think I like them so much because they're both celebrations of my Savior, the Birth and Resurrection. Easter brings dyeing Easter eggs, hunting them (of course), great worship, family, friends, food, sunshine, and happiness. It really feels like everything around us is new...a fresh start. 

{weheartit}

Somehow, Spring makes it a little easier for me to see God in everything around us :)

"There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ"

-"In Christ Alone" by Natalie Grant

4) I'm especially thankful for my birthday...getting reaaal close! I think I put too much emphasis on birthdays, but I love celebrating them like they're a national holiday. And I don't think anything is wrong with that :) I'm enjoying all of the wonderful birthday presents that I've already gotten (I'd tell you all about them now...but that's gonna be another post :))

{weheartit}

5) I am thankful for the job that God has created for me. Although I don't know it yet, I am so thankful for it. It's terrifying--I have no idea where He wants me to be a nurse, but I trust in His plan and that He is going to open a door for me somewhere. So thank you, Lord, for the incredible job You have in store for me. Can't wait to figure out what it is!

Wow. All of those were pretty intense. I promise next week's won't be this heavy. It's been a long week, but a good week. So thankful for God's presence in my everyday life, even when I forget to stop and smell the roses :)

tuesday shoesday

Brace yourselves.

I have officially found the cutest spring/summer shoes EVER. 

AND they're only $39.95.

No, I promise I'm not lying to you....

Ummmm, HELLO cutest shoes ever. Thank you for entering my life.


You can find these precious things at DSW...and they come in blue, black, brown, orange, red, AND yellow.


I think I'll order them in every color...it is my birthday month, after all :)

{happy birthday to my sister}

Even better than Music Monday, today is my sweet little sister's 20th birthday! No longer a teenager...crazy! So sorry you have to deal with two posts in one day, but I think a little birthday celebration is called for today :)

Happy birthday Sisby. I hope you have a wonderful 20th birthday! Thank you for being the friend that is always there for me, especially when the rest of the world just plain sucks. You're one of the only ones that will tell me when an outfit is ugly, tell me that you'll beat up a boy for breaking my heart, or simply when I'm being a biatch...and I'm so thankful for that. Love you MOH. 

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of.  You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. "

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."

music mondayyy

Oh, Monday. How I hate you. Especially today...the first Monday after our fabulous Spring Break. Back to reality. I spent the entire past week laying on a white sand beach soaking up the sun, not a care in the world. It was perrrrfect. Now to the present: current weather in Oxford...rainy, 45 degrees, cloudy...miserable. So to make a miserable Monday more bearable, I think it's time for one of my favorite posts....Music Monday!!!

I haven't done Music Monday in a while, and since I'm bored at work (as usual), I might as well share with the blogworld the awesome playlist I have going at the moment. It's pretty random, so bear with me. I promise they're all pretty amazing, so go download them and enjoy. 

1.  "Cold Desert"- Kings of Leon...another sexy song. I seem to only like those. This song is probably my favorite Kings song, but I just recently discovered it again and it's awesome.
2. "Giving Up"- Ingrid Michaelson...I'm a sucker for a cheesy love song.
3. "Wheel"- John Mayer...he could sing the alphabet and I'd fall in love with it. This song has my favorite lyric of all time in it... "I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give returned to me."
4. "This Too Shall Pass"- OK Go...Watch this video, it's crazy cool.
5. "American Honey"- Lady Antebellum...love me some LadyA, and I hated this song at first because it's a little too country but it has definitely grown on me.
6. "Long Time Traveler"- The Wailin' Jennys... this song has such an awesome harmony. They're incredible. Any song with a pretty harmony has me with the first note.
7. "Thinking of You"- Katy Perry...get the live, acoustic version. 
8. "Belief"- Gavin DeGraw...nothing better than simply his voice and a piano. 
9. "Cousins"- Vampire Weekend
10. "Rude Boy"- Rihanna... theme song of Spring Break. Enough said. 
11. "Sleeping to Dream"- Jason Mraz
12. "Use Me Up"- Hanson...you know how much I love Taylor Hanson (my future husband), but this song is mainly Zac, and it's so amazing. His voice is a lot different than Taylor's but equally as sexy and talented. Love them.
13. "You're Not Listening"- The Rescues... such honest lyrics. Wish they'd put out a whole CD!
14. Last but not least.... "Rocks in the River" by Kate Logan... this is one of my best friend's little sisters who is pursuing her singing career in Nashville. She is INCREDIBLE. She has such a powerful voice and she's not even out of high school yet. Seriously jealous. Go listen to this song and fall in love with her (and her voice) like I did. Not only does her voice give me chills, she has one of the sweetest hearts of anyone I know (her mom and sister are running a close second and third :)). Crossing my fingers that she becomes famous real soon. Go to her website and check out some more of her music here!

That's all I have for Music Monday. Sorry for the randomness that this playlist has on it. That's pretty much my taste in music.

Happy Monday, friends :)

in a perfect world...

...I would live here...

ahh, Paris.

...and I would walk down streets like this...

...hand-in-hand with this guy...

(and shame on you if you don't know who this is!)

...and we'd have espressos at little cafés like this...

 ...and we'd live in an apartment like this...

...and go on vacations to Italian paradises like this...

(this will be my real-life honeymoon destination, I've decided.)

...I would have a body & hair like hers...

...I would be bff with her...

...and we would shop in stores like this...

...and I'd have a pair of these for every day of the week...

(and a butt just like that to go with them)

...I'd carry this fabulous bag...

...and I'd wear pretty dresses like this on dates with DreamGuy...

...and of course, I'd have to rock these stilettos...

...and this fabulous Oscar de la Renta necklace...

...and last but not least, I'd drive one of these.

But since this world only exists in my head, I better get back to packing.

Good thing my real life is almost as perfect as this one :)

{Thankful Thursdays}

One more day closer to Spring Break...

AND, it's gorgeous outside.

And on top of that, I woke up this morning in a fabulous mood!

Here are some things I am thankful for on this lovely Thursday...

• Pedicures. One of my favorite things in the whole wide world! I got one with my mom on Saturday to get beach ready...I'm wearing OPI's Tasmanian Devil Made Me Do It. LOVE it!
• My roommates. I could spend all night talking to them about nothing and everything. They always make me think.
• Sundresses. Spring is hereee! Which means summer is that much closer :) Gotta get to working on my tan!
• My birthday MONTH! 19 days 'til my birthday. Ready to celebrate with my bffs!
• Cheesecake for breakfast. Healthy, I know. Just couldn't resist.
• My sweet grandmother. She sends me a little something in the mail everyweek, never fails. This week it was an incredible devotional that touched on my job quest. She is the most amazing woman I've ever known!
• The sunshine. Last night, we had a small monsoon outside our house, so waking up to the sunshine streaming through my windows reminds me of how powerful my God really is.
• Twitter. How else would I be able to stalk my friends/fav stars? 
• Spring Break...begins tomorrow! Ready to be on the beach with not a care in the world :)

What are you thankful for today?

{Countdown: 80 Days}

Today I begin the countdown. 80 days til...

Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.

Manolos, Cosmos, & men.

{My guilty pleasure of girly TV shows}

I watch this show and dream about being one of them. Seriously...the clothes, the men, the friendships, the city!

Fabulous.

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am about this movie.

The only way I could be more excited about a movie is if I found out a Friends movie was coming out.

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships.  There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back to life.  But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.  And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

-Carrie Bradshaw

And the 2nd thing I'm super excited about...

My birthday is in exactly three weeks. 

The big 2-2... Geez, I'm getting old.

So, in the Sex and the City spirit, who wants to get me a pair of these for my birthday??

To.die.for.

I will be wearing these in my wedding (if I ever have one)!

Or you could get me this dress...

...or this dress...

...too bad I could never, ever in a million years pull off these fabulous white dresses.

A girl can dream.

"No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." -Carrie

80 days 'til SATC2 comes to a theater near you...is anyone as excited as I am?

{I'm already planning my outfit in my head}

So...who's gonna go see it with me?? :)

Ohhh, the Oscars

I am such a girly girl. Award show season is one of the best times of the entire year. I could spend hours on end just watching the Red Carpet, oohing and ahhing over all the pretty dresses. Oh wait, that's what I did ALL afternoon. Never mind that I have a huge test on Tuesday, or that I have an entire online course to complete! It's the big day. The day of the Oscars. And that was the only thing on my mind. Of course, I had my notes sitting out in front of me, so that counts as studying a little bit, right?

Here are my Best Dressed picks for the evening... I'm channeling Joan Rivers right now, minus all the plastic surgery. Just call me the Fashion Police. 

picture credits here

I love Amanda Seyfried and Anna Kendrick. They're two of my favorite up-and-coming actresses. I think we're going to see a lot of good things from them in the future.

I love to hate Miley Cyrus, but I must say that I do like her dress. I didn't enjoy it at first, but it's starting to grow on me. Love it or hate it? What do you think?

Tina Fey is just awesome no matter what she has on. Plain and simple.

And Kate Winslet is timeless, incredible, breathtaking. She is definitely one of my favorite actresses. The love started with good ole Titanic and has only grown since!

Alright...now onto the big winners. 

My third place for Best Dressed...Cameron Diaz. She is just a hottie, no other explanations needed. That dress is fabulous. Glitzy, old Hollywood glamour. When I finally get to heaven, I'm gonna have a body like hers. She is gorgeous!

My runner up...Rachel McAdams. So elegant and classy. I think I picked her just because she's my favorite actress. Eh, who am I kidding? I really just want to be her.

And of course, the winner for Best Dressed Oscars 2010....Sandra Bullock. Look at her. She is flawless. The complete definition of classic beauty. And she matches the Oscar that she took home tonight :) I must say, I am mighty proud of her winning...such an incredible story! I know the Tuohy family is loving this! Shout out to my Rebels! Hotty Toddy, friends.

And now the men...

Hello there, hotties. All 4 of these men make me drool. Is there anything better than a guy in a suit? No, I don't think so. Another reason why I love award season.

Alright, that's all I have for you tonight. I'm sure I left a few of my faves out. Let me know what y'all think about them! Love them? Hate them? Agree??

Tomorrow starts another week... The last week before Spring Break, yippee! I'm gonna make a point this week to show love to those around me. Don't forget to enjoy the little things in life. Smile at a stranger. Hug a friend. Send a sweet message for no reason. Go out of your way to help someone. Hold in a harsh word. You'll be amazed at how much it'll change your day.

"I believe my life's gonna see the love I give returned to me." -"Wheel" by John Mayer

one week from today...

….I will be in the car on my way to the beach with my best friends.

that’s the most exciting statement I’ve heard in quite a while. I am SO ready to feel the sand beneath my feet…smell the salty ocean breeze…feel that glorious sun on my skin.

Can you tell I have a terrible case of Spring [Break] Fever?? This semester has been a piece of cake compared to the past few…it’s been a lot busier, but not nearly as tough. I feel like my days consist of go, go, go, so more than anything, I am looking forward to an entire week of no schedules. No class. No work. No studying. Wow! Just the thought of those things makes my heart happy.

I’m planning on this week being my mid-semester re-energizer…the little boost of energy and breath of fresh air (literally) that I need to make it to May, which means graduation! The plans are as follows: sleep, lay on the beach all day long, read, spend time with my friends, eat yummy food, enjoy the nightlife, then repeat. How heavenly does that sound? Lucky me!

On a side note, Santa brought me a Kindle for Christmas…the BEST Christmas gift ever (aside from my car, of course). I am a huge reader so it has been SO great. But of course, because of nursing school, KD, and my job, I can’t seem to find time to read like I want to…but this week is dedicated to finally getting to enjoy some of the books I have on the Kindle. Here’s my selection. I’ll have to update you later on how the book turned out to be.

1)      “The Last Song” by Nicholas Sparks…I’m a huge Sparks fan (duh, cheesy love novels) and the movie comes out at the end of the month. I always have to read the book first, so I gotta get on this one!

2)      “The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder” by Rebecca Wells…my close friend Misty recommended this book to me, and she described it as one of her favorite books of all time. She reads just as much as I do, so I must see what all the hype is about!

3)      “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert…I was told this book will change my life. Can’t wait to start it! AND it's being turned into a movie this summer.

4)      “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett…a best-seller book set in 1960s Mississippi, the main character went to Ole Miss, what more could I ask for?

The only thing between me and this picture is one week. I think I can make it. 

To wrap this post up, I wanted to share my devotion from today...more encouragement that the Lord has my future in His hands. It never ceases to amaze me how He speaks to me through these words.

"Continue on this path with Me, enjoying My Presence even in adversity. I am always before you, as well as alongside you. See Me beckoning to you: Come! Follow ME. The One who goes ahead of you, opening up the way, is the same One who stays close and never lets go of your hand. I am not subject to limitations of time or space. I am everywhere at every time, ceaselessly working on your behalf. This is why your best efforts are trusting Me and living close to Me."

I hope you all are enjoying this fabulous, gorgeous, beautiful Saturday :)

wordless wednesday

hgtv wannabe

So, I figured that since I've been so heavy on the blog topics lately, you'd appreciate a lighter post that doesn't require much reading. So here you go...

I have recently developed an unhealthy awesome obsession with HGTV. It is the ONLY channel that continually has something great on (minus a few shows, but I'll give them a break on that...the other 23 hours make up for the bad ones). I watch it WAY too much and get WAY too many ideas from those shows...which sucks when I don't have a house to decorate. AND to make my decorating fever worse, my mom's birthday was in December and she asked for a local designer in Greenwood to come to our house and redecorate/rearrange. So, of course, I've been planning my own "house" in my head as she is showing me rooms, paint colors, furniture, etc. While I was acting like I was on HGTV and avoiding studying, I came across this fabulous website, Living, Etc, through another blog and it has the BEST ideas on it. Of course, I don't have a big, pretty house to decorate yet...but a girl can dream, right?

LOVE this fireplace. Beautiful. 

Gorgeous colors. I'm really loving the grays lately...as you can tell from the next two pictures!

 And that mirror! Totally to die for.

I'm pretty sure this wallpaper was created especially for me. 

I'm in love. 

This bedroom is such a sexy room! Love the colors. 

I feel like it's all grown up and sophisticated...maybe that can be my next bedroom!

Really digging the green chair and the memo board. So cute!

This dining area is my FAV! It's so different than anything I thought I would like but I'm loving the pink (of course) and the fireplace too. Totally chic and totally hot.

I want a chandelier SO BAD! Too bad all of our rooms have ceiling fans.

I'm gonna have a house one day with one of these beautiful things.

I really just love this green wall. Such a great idea.

Seriously. This room is fabulous. Look at those high ceilings! 

Look at those rich colors! I'm in love again.

Gorgeous kitchen. I cannot wait to have my own house!

Living room from Anthropologie... the couch itself costs over $5,000 

But I totally think it's worth it :) 

I'm looking back at these and I just realized that my design taste changes from room to room. Maybe I should work on that before I actually have my own house. Good thing I have a while to get it together!

Okay, enough of me drooling over these pictures. Happy Tuesday friends!

:)