why do I blog?

I've been getting some (okay, a ton of) questions lately about why I blog... Why do I spend time doing this? Why is it important to me to stay connected? Well, the answer is simple. I like to be connected. I like to get thoughts out of my head and off of my chest. I like writing about things I'm passionate about. I got into the whole blog thing through reading other peoples' blogs and falling in love with their photography, ideas, thoughts, and laughs. And I figured, why couldn't I have one of these? No, I'm not married like many of the womens' that I read, and no, I don't have kids yet. But I hope to some day...and until then, I want to be able to document things going on in my life. 

I started this at the end of my Senior year of college...I wanted to soak in every.little.moment. and this blog has helped in a tremendous way. I captured pictures, thoughts, ideas, fears, emotions...everything going on in my life over the last year or so. Of course, there are some things a little too private to write about but I can read some of these posts and it takes me back to that time, and I remember how I felt and what was going on. That was such a transitional time in my life...a fragile, precious few months, and I'm so thankful to have those memories documented to look back on. It's crazy how much I've grown and changed since then, but every part of then makes up who I am now.

Something that blows my mind? I love that people actually want to read this babbling of mine. Sure, people probably laugh (and not with me) at some of the things I say/write...and that's okay. Not everyone is going to like me, and I realize that. That's just how life is. How the cookie crumbles. But hey, if you don't enjoy it, don't read it! Simple as that. 

My life may be not be full of fun trips every week and may be slightly boring at times, but I know big things are happening. God is preparing me for something greater. Something greater than I could ever imagine. And until then, I'm going to be patient...and write. I'm going to cherish the time I have to blog, and I'm going to document the little things going on. The fun things that define a summer. My friends, my trips, my thoughts. Anything and everything. Because I can. This is my blog, and this is what I enjoy doing... 

As hard as it is to admit, I'm not very open with everyone. Of course, there are those few, precious friends that know me well enough to know when something's up...but alot of the time, I don't just supply information. I wish I could be more open about the deep, dark things...but I'm just not sometimes. Thankfully, I can write about it. 

So that's why I do this whole thing called blogging. Yeah, I may get made fun of, and yeah, I might get the occasional, "Ohhhh, you're a blogger?" and the eye roll, but so what? I love doing this. And that's all that really matters.


 I've met some incredible women through this little corner of the Internet, and I'm thankful for the friends I've made, the encouragement they give me, and the joy I have when reading their own blogs. I guess you could say it's one of those things you don't really get until you're a part of it...but I sure know I wouldn't trade it for anything!





So, my wonderful blogGirls, why do you blog? Lemme hear all about it!
TGIF! 3 more nights at work and I'm off to Oxford :)

{thursday things}

Wait, what? It's Thursday already? Is it just me or are the weeks flying by? On one hand, I hate to see summer go by so quickly...I want to squeeze in just one more trip to the beach. But then again, I couldn't be more ready for fall. Hello---SEC football, hurry up! Anywho, as if you already couldn't tell, this is going to be a random post. If you could see my house right now, you'd understand why--both my brain and all of my belongings are in chaos as we speak.

{one} Moving is a biatch. I need a personal assistant for the next week or so...anyone up for the job? I promise I'll be sweet. And I'll pay in ice cream. I just don't even know where to start, honestly. I didn't think I had so much crap, but boy, was I wrong. I've officially filled up every Tupperware I own with belongings, so I'll be visiting a liquor store for boxes tomorrow. I may have to get some wine while there, just to keep my sanity.

{two} At some point today, I'm going to visit the Salvation Army to unload a huge mound of clothing. More particularly, all of my old fat clothes. They've been hanging in the back of my closet for the past few months, mocking me. I've been holding onto them almost as a security blanket, just in case I happen to go back to that stage of my life. But, I decided last week to just go ahead and go through them, and rid myself of that old lifestyle. It feels good to not have clothes 5 sizes too big for me anymore...my determination to stay healthy just got a little stronger. I must say--it feels great.

{three} I only have 3 more nights at my current job before I officially move to Oxford. Bittersweet is the only word that comes to mind as I type that sentence. My coworkers rock. They're the main reason I enjoy going to work every night...we're a great team, and I'm going to miss them more than they know. But at the same time, I know this current job isn't where I belong, and isn't where God wants me, so I've gotta let go and let His plan take over in my life. I'm eager to get started in Oxford, and I hope you'll pray for me as this next chapter begins for me!

{four} I am finally a member of the iPhone4 club. Finally. And I'd marry that darn thing if I could...I'm obsessed/addicted, and I'm okay to admit that. I was helping boyfriend move into his fab new house over the past weekend and in the midst of moving like crazy in 100 degree weather, the screen was shattered on my old iPhone. I swear, my luck with iPhones only gets worse over time. But lucky for me--one of my sweet friends had a 4 that she was selling, so it worked out well in the end. But really...I dare you to tell me the iPhone isn't the best phone in the world. Come on, your phone just sucks...admit it. 

{five} I need a new haircut. Like in the worst way. My hair has gotten so long, and with it being curly/wavy, it's super hard to tame unless I straighten it. And come on, I don't have time to straighten it daily. So I think I need to take some length off of it...and that's where you come in. Any suggestions? Give me some cute ideas--nothing too short though :)

{six} My bff and future roomie, Faye, is having an awesome giveaway over on her blog right now. Click here to visit. One of my sweet guy friends from college and two of his buddies are spending their summer kayaking down the Mississippi river to raise money and awareness for two ministries: ICM in Oxford, Mississippi and The Gardere Community Christian School in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I am so proud of these guys and the ministry they are sharing with the world. Isn't it so encouraging to see wonderful young men living their lives strictly for the glory of God? What a beautiful picture. Watch this video...and go visit Faye's blog for more details on the giveaway. Do something for someone else today...after all, isn't that what the Gospel is all about?

Well, friends...that's all I've got today. Lots of miscellany poured out on a Thursday. Love y'all. Hope your weeks are going wonderfully so far! This next week is going to be crazy with me and the big move, but I promise to stay in touch :)

Happy Thursday, y'all!

BIG NEWS....

After many prayers, lots of discussions, numerous pros and cons lists (yes, I'm OCD), and of course a few tears (you know me, the emotional one), I can finally tell y'all about the big change that's about to happen in my life...

I'm moving back to Oxford!

Home. That's what Oxford is to me. I've been praying for God to lead me where He wanted me to be, because I knew that my life here in Jackson was never going to be a permanent thing. Over the past few months, I've really been itching for a change, knowing that God had something bigger and better in store for me. 

And He surely came through...answered my prayers in a huge, wonderful way.

I'm starting my position on August the 8th, on a Women's floor at the hospital in Oxford. I was hesitant in taking this job for the longest time...I'm not sure if it was a fear of change, a fear of the unknown, leaving behind my wonderful coworkers...I could go on, but I'll spare you. Either way, I know that I've been ignoring God's plan for me. 


He continually opened doors to let this happen. I'll be doing the type of nursing I love at a hospital I'm familiar with in the city I call "home," while living with some of my very best friends in a precious house. And my main man and my sister will be a mere 5 minutes away from me on a daily basis. I don't think it gets much more perfect than that!


I always knew I'd be back in Oxford at some point, but I never guessed it would be so soon. Just goes to show that my plan and God's plan are two totally different things. I'm so thankful for that. He's holding me in the palm of His hand, and is continually pouring His blessings over me...amazing Love.


So there you have it friends...I'm moving back to my beloved college town. I heard it once said that Oxford has something in the air that captures you and makes you never want to leave...and I couldn't agree more.


I mean, look at this place....

Home. How could you not love it?


So, sweet friends, be praying for me as I take a big step forward in my life. I'm nervous about a job change, and extra nervous about turning my life upside down again. Lift me up, if you think about it. I'd surely appreciate it. And if you're ever in town, don't hesitate to call a girl up :) I'd love to have some visitors! Caitlin and Nicole, start preparing yourselves for weekly girlfriend dates!


As wonderful as these past few weeks/months have been in the blessings department, I can't wait to see what God has planned for me next! It's funny how things work out, huh?


Happy hurryupfriday Thursday!

faithful

On the way to church this morning, driving in my car down Lakeland, I prayed a simple prayer. I prayed for God to open my heart. I prayed for Him to pull me back to Him. I prayed for His presence to overwhelm me. 

I've been so distant with God lately. And in the rush of things, I catch myself thinking "My goodness, where is God in this situation?!" or "Why hasn't He answered my prayer yet?" When in reality, it's simply me pushing Him away. Me hearing the answer to my prayers but that answer not being my ideal, so I choose to ignore it, whether consciously or subconsciously. Me being "too busy" to spend time reading His Word or "too tired" to make time to go to church. Hey there, God. I'm the problem, not you. 

Clearly, Rachel. Ever so selfishly, I realize yet again how far I've gone down my own path. Trying to make my own way for myself, somehow, someway, for some stupid reason, thinking that my way will be ultimately better than His. Silly me. I try this over and over again, and it never seems to work. You'd think I would've learned my lesson by now.

I'll admit, my prayer this morning was a prayer I've prayed many times. Some sincere, some not so sincere. More often than not, I ask God, so shallowly, to show up in worship and open my heart to Him. Of course, those are just words out of my mouth most Sundays. I don't mean them from my heart. I say them hollowly, almost as if it's a traditional Sunday morning recitation. 

Not this morning. I got off work at 7:23 and wanted to seriously to take a left and turn onto the interstate to head home (where my bed was calling me) instead of taking that right to direct me towards Pinelake. But something, somewhere deep down in me pulled ever so slightly at my heart and make me take that right almost effortlessly, and that prayer came pouring out of nowhere. I so desperately needed God to show up. I so direly needed His presence to be obvious and overwhelming in my heart and in my life. I needed Him to humble me, to break me, to push me to that point where I am so in need of His mercy and grace that I can't even stand it. I've gone too far away and need my Father to grab my hand, tell me it's going to be alright, and wrap me in His arms.

And of course, He is faithful. 

Doesn't He seem to prove that over and over, time and time again. And yet, somehow, each time, I'm amazed again. How could a God so perfect, so complete, so infinitely powerful, love me so much to reach out to me in my most desperate hour? 

Worship starts at church, and I'm in my own little world singing the words on the screen, begging for Him to show up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this sweet, precious little old man. He couldn't have been a day less than 85. He was sitting on the front row of my section, all alone, but with his hands lifted high in praise. In adoration. In pure, unselfish worship. Singing every word, as if he was the only person in the room. Every now and then, throughout the songs, I'd peek over at him, and it was as if I was watching a love song being written to His Heavenly Father. Beautiful.

Something about that image made my eyes well up with tears. This sweet, little elderly man, who looked like he could barely walk, much less hold his arms up, was worshiping His Creator without reservation. Praising Him for His thankfulness. I couldn't help but think of the years that he's seen. Of the events he's gone through. Of the trials he's faced. And of the many, many, many prayers he's prayed...and in turn, of the countless mercies and blessings God has poured out on Him. 

There he stood, still faithful to God after so many years of life have passed him by...when I'm sure, somewhere along the way, it would have been much easier to go his own way and forget about taking up the cross and following Jesus. And God remained faithful to him. It made me realize that the little troubles of my days are nothing compared to leaving it all behind and being faithful to Him. Regardless of big decisions coming up in my life, regardless of whether or not what God wants me to do is comfortable to me...He will always be faithful, so I should put all of my faith in Him. He has proved faithful so many times. And I am so thankful for that this morning...I am such an imperfect person, and the fact that He loves me enough to prove Himself faithful to His imperfect, sinner of a daughter overwhelms me. 

My heart is so full. We are so loved. I am so thankful for Him not giving up on me just yet.

I jumped out of a plane.

The post you've all been waiting for...

My skydiving adventure. 

I jumped out of an airplane. A perfectly good plane. I jumped from it. Into mid-air. Free falling through nothing but air.  That sentence still blows my mind. If you know me personally, you know my feelings about heights. I.e. I have a terrible fear of them. But, as with most people in the world, skydiving has always been on my bucket list. So, what better way to get over a fear than to face it? That's where the idea of skydiving came in.

People keep asking me to describe how it was, to put it into words, to tell them all about it...and that's pretty much impossible to do. It's indescribable. Absolutely and utterly indescribable. It's sensory overload x 8473. It's the biggest adrenaline rush I've ever felt...it's like feeling every emotion all at once. You want to laugh, you want to cry, you almost pee on yourself from excitement, you almost pee on yourself from terror, you want to scream...and yet you can't. I felt like I screamed the whole way down, but I honestly don't remember any sound coming out of my mouth. I think my vocal chords were paralyzed out of utter panic and shock, and yet I was hoarse the next day. I was the first to jump, so looking out of that plane and seeing nothing but clouds and ground to break my fall almost made me scream out for my Mama. It was exhilarating...absolutely breathtaking. Literally.

So without further ado...the proof in pictures. And don't worry, I spared you from most of them. Just imagine lots of wind blown fat on my cheeks, awkward angles, shots of my lovely rear, and the like. The pictures almost weren't worth the money, but I'm glad I at least have a few to use as proof for my parents who still think I didn't really go. 

The whole group... Michael, Jennifer, Taylor, Jamie, me, and Andrew

My instructor...he's jumped over 5,000 times in the past 20 years. Like, what?! Crazy.

Cheesin' it up, trying not wet my pants. Probably just made some joke about wearing Depends to jump.

"See that tiny speck down there? That's the runway we just took off from!" ...cue panic.

Here goes nothin'........jumping from 14,000 ft.

...still freaking out...

...still haven't gone through the clouds yet....

Excuse my French, but I'm pretty much a bada$$, I know.

Free falling. At 120 mph. Really.

Incredible. 

The chute opening...and me becoming a little less panicked. 

Finally on solid ground...and probably telling my instructor that he's the sh*t and I want to go back up in the plane...like right that second. 

I will be going back a second time, so if anyone wants to join in on the awesomeness, holler at your girl. I'd love to have y'all along with me :) And if you're lucky, I may post the video one day. It's pretty hilarious...I'll definitely never be an actress.

Happy Friday!

This has gotta be the good life...

 A funny thing happened today.

I logged onto my computer, opened my Internet browser (which is finally working again, btw), and suddenly remembered that I used to have a pretty little blog that I updated on a regular basis.

So you know what I did? I typed in blogger.com, clicked the enter button, had a small reunion party with it, and decided to write.

But where, oh where, do I even start? 

I feel like I've been in a constant state of vacation lately. Between weddings, birthday parties, visits from friends, vacations to the beach, and trips to Oxford, work has just been serving as a stepping stone from one event to the next. It fills my time, more or less. Gives me a chance to catch up on my Google reader while having a countdown of some sort to the next big thing. And I can't complain. I like to say on a schedule that the real world sucks, but let's be honest...I've had a pretty fabulous summer. How about I give you a little update on the past few weeks with a few pictures? 

I'm hoping to win your blog love back again if I start updating a little more, so here goes. I'm back, love me, forgive me. I solemnly swear to become a better blogger from here on out. 

So...let's see. What have I been up to?

I went to Arkansas a few weeks ago for a quick trip to see my sweet great-aunt get married to a precious man. I got to catch up with my wonderful family...it wasn't nearly long enough though. I'm one of those lucky people who has the most incredible family ever...no embarrassing family stories here! I'm a lucky girl!

beautiful sister

precious little cousins

do I have a beautiful family or what?!

cheesin'

the Dillard clan...I kinda like 'em.


There have been numerous trips to Oxford (of course...hold in your gasps, I know you're super shocked.) There's almost nothing I love more in this world than Oxford in the summertime...the slow, steady, relaxing pace of a small town. The Square on a weeknight. Grabbing a drink on the Burgundy Room balcony with best friends. Date nights with Andrew. It doesn't get much better...little things like that make summer complete.

Best friend

Sweet boyfriend

Love this boy!

Rebecca, Alex, me, and Alyssa at Rooster's



Oh, and there was a whole week at the beach celebrating the 4th of July with my best college girlfriends...those girls that know me better than I know myself...the ones that will be in my wedding. They're my heart. I ate way too much, drank a little bit, laughed harder than I've laughed for a long time, and soaked up some rays on the beach. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Oh, and we totally met Chris Tomlin while at dinner one night...pretty cool, huh?



Fireworks on the beach on the 4th!

Dinner at Cafe Thirty-A

Love these girls!
Emma, Alex, me, Dannah

The quadruple plank!

Well hey there, God! Love a good sunset. Reminds me of His glory.

I'm telling you, I feel like my vacation just keeps on going. As soon as we got home from the beach Friday, two of our other best friends came in from Oxford, along with my sweet boyfriend, and we spent the weekend here in Jackson going to weddings, hitting up a few bars, celebrating Beth's 21st birthday, and laughing even harder (if that's possible.)

Me and Andrew...dinner at Julep on Friday

My sweet Ann Regan!

Throw what ya know! Kappaaa Deltaaa!

Me and James at dinner

Best friend and boyfriend


Looks like I've had a pretty great past few weeks, huh? Life is good. I'm sitting here right  now in the quiet of the morning realizing how great I really do have it, how blessed I am to have these opportunities, how lucky I am to be surrounded by these amazing people...and yet how often I let the little things in the everyday bring me down. I'm looking back at these pictures and all I see is joy, smiles, happiness, memories. So today, I'm choosing joy. Little things don't matter...they don't resonate from day to day. Joy is what matters. Memories are what matters. Love is what matters. Life is what you make it, right? 


Happy Thursday, loves!


P.S. Some big things are happening in my life, so send up a few prayers for me if you get a spare moment! I can't wait to share with all of you...soon, friends, I promise :)