I was sitting at work the other night, in a foul mood, mumbling under my breath at every little thing. The call light was going off constantly, every single patient on the floor seemed to want 4 different cups of ice, admission after admission just kept showing up. And I was about as bitter as it comes at that point. Of course, the time just kept ticking by, and eventually everything settled down. Magically, my bad mood began to lift.
And then I thought about what others would have seen if they had been looking at me for the first part of that shift. What did that patient's dad see when he looked at me? Or how about that new admission that came up at shift change? Probably a girl in a hurry, with a scowl on her face, forcing herself to try to be nice.
Was this bad mood really necessary? Was I having that bad of a night? No, I wasn't. My negativity just came out that night, and came out in full force, for that matter.
I realized it was after midnight at this point, so I'll usually grab my phone and read my Jesus Calling for that day, if I think about it, and this was mine for that particular morning.
"Let thankfulness temper all your thoughts. A thankful mind-set keeps you in touch with Me. I hate it when My children grumble, casually despising My sovereignty. Thankfulness is a safeguard against this deadly sin. Furthermore, a grateful attitude becomes a grid through which you perceive life. Gratitude enables you to see the Light of My Presence shining on all your circumstances. Cultivate a thankful heart, for this glorifies Me and fills you with Joy.” -Jesus Calling By Sarah Young.
Oh, hey there, God. Yep, I know that was written for me. And yep, I promise I'm listening now.
How quick am I to complain about my situation? Without hesitation, I let negative words come out of my mouth, and in turn, my mood just gets worse. And what am I complaining over? Things that don't matter. Things I can't control. Things shouldn't affect me that way. It hurts my heart to think about the picture I am showing to others of myself when I let my negativity overtake my mood. I can't imagine what others see when they look at me--I know it's no where near a picture of Christ.
I desperately need my heart to change in these moments. I have to let go of the complaints, of the bitterness, of the negativity, and take up His Peace. Because through His Peace, I need to be grateful for my circumstances. Be grateful for those moments of weakness, because that's when I must let go and turn to Him, turn to Him for His strength, His power, His will to be done. I have so many things to be thankful for, so what's the point in letting a negative spirit take over my day?
My challenge for myself today is to give thanks. Thank Him for letting me wake up, thank Him for giving me a roof over my head, a breakfast to eat, the legs to run at the gym. Thank Him for the friends that surround me, for the family that loves on me, for the stranger that lets me out in traffic. For every little thing that I may deem mundane, I will thank Him. I will have a grateful attitude and I won't let any negative words come out of my mouth...I'm eager to see how my day will change with this simple little concept.
So, thank you, Lord. Thank you, Father, for your mercies this morning. Thank you for giving me another chance, in spite of my many failures. Thank you for loving me.
